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For now- no more hidden bottles

Ok I have to admit it. I am not quite at the stage of committing to sobriety all in ,100% for the rest of my life. It is there in the back of my jumbled up brain that it's probably what I will end up having to do. Hmmm having to do - ahem!  What I mean to say is, will end up choosing to do. I know, I know it's not what I should be saying on a blog about trying to get control of my alco problem but no one is reading at present & this is truly how I feel. For now I want to get the drinking at home gone, diminished, see you later!!! My big problem is the secret drinking. If I had never started to secretly all those years ago I don't think I would be writing this blog today. A twenty something alternative, arty young woman with her life ahead of her I decided to calm the nerves before a date with a guy. It worked a bloody treat & he never guessed. He never guessed once in all the years we ended up together that I drank to calm my anxiety, to loosen me up & feel go...
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Me The Truth & I

Here I am. Me just me. A bit scared, a bit anxious & a bit lost. How did I get here? How did I end up in this situation? Me? I ask myself this every so often & come to the conclusion sometimes that this is the hurdle in my life that I have to overcome, it's life's test. Then I wonder will I ever be overcome this or will it drag on with me until my death bed? This is second maybe even the third time I have started a blog, written a few posts, stayed off the booze for a few weeks, read & listened to quit lit, had good intentions but give in to the thought of going booze free forever as too big of a sacrifice. It's really hard to get this to a comfortable point. At present I have not drank any alcohol whatsoever in 22 days. I had been for the last few months only drinking on a Saturday night but it has been in secret & it has been to a point of blackout. So I had cut down from 3/4 times a week to 1 but once I start I just keep going. Nobody knows the extent o...
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